Stuck in the Transition

And we back...and we back, and we back! 

This blog was hard, but I have faith that it will relate to those going through a similar season. If you are, know that you are not alone; you are loved and you are cared for. God's hand is on you & He is with you. 

 Meditate on to these five scriptures (and stay in your Word) as you continue on through your process. 

Disclaimers: 

1. Yes, my favorite filler is still "like." 

2. Yes, I still use my computer cam so my yellowness still looks really light; blogger on a budget here! 

3. Yes, I still move A LOT; I'm antsy. 

4. Yes, I still love doing this + you will MOST definitely get the same beautiful imperfections and weirdnesses about me in 1-4 in the next video.

xo, Nic.

P.S. song that made me cry:
Aha Gazelle, Vegeta

"I Want What They Have:" Battling Discontentment in Your Singleness Thanks to Instagram

Hello beautiful people!

So much to tell you all, so little time...so let's get right to it!

Ya girl moved...AGAIN! I'm starting to feel like a gypsy, but it's all good! I took the producing job I last told you all about and found a beautiful place closer to the station. GOD really came through for me y'all!

But anywho! So a couple of days ago, I found myself awake at like maybe 2:00 in the morning boohooing! Like ugly, REAL ugly tears and it's like it came out of nowhere. I had been "talking" to someone for about four months, let's say, and with timing, transitions of jobs and career paths, distance, it just didn't work out. No love lost, but it just didn't develop into what I was hoping for. That night, I was on Instagram, scrolling through my timeline, when I saw what seemed to have been all of the guys I either used to date or talk to were all in these great relationships...and they had the nerve to look really happy! It was almost like they came together and plotted to post about their newly found relationships or happiness all at the same time and I was the target! Now, none of them know each other at all so I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case, but something about these back-to-back posts hit me. Something came over me and I started to feel as if I was unworthy of happiness—as if there was something about me that wasn't enough, wasn't worthy enough of these men being the men that I needed them to be for me.

It was rough. All of my insecurities consequently came to a head and for a good 15 minutes, I felt really small. I felt like all of the effort I had ever put in, the love that I gave was never enough—never capable enough of convincing these men that I was worthy of staying around for. And then God asked me...

"Are you done?"

Like what? What you do you mean am I done? I'm here having a moment and you're asking me if I'm done?! No, Sir, actually I'm not done and I'm going to keep having this moment. 

Then in what seemed to be God rolling His eyes at me, I realized all of those thoughts that I was thinking weren't true—me not being enough for those men wasn't the case; me not being enough period was not true. Those thoughts that I was allowing to rule me in that moment were not in alignment to what God has always been telling me.

Those thoughts were rooted in a lie; they were also rooted in discontentment.

In this day and age, if you're hooked on social media like most of us millennials are, you're vulnerable to the lies, perceptions, and falsities social media can plant into your spirit. I'd like to think I follow a decent amount of accounts that either preach what I believe or are simply people that I'm cool with. But I also find myself on my popular page a lot where couples related to different accounts are getting married or are really happy in their relationships. To be honest this year alone, I feel like everyone I went to school with is either getting married or having a baby, and I'm sitting here in my singleness like, dang!!! Can I at least get a boyfriend?! I don't want to be married tomorrow and I DEFINITELY do NOT want a baby ANYTIME soon, but dag! Like Ayo, GOD?! You remember me right?! You know I'm tryna be married too right?! You know I learned how to cook not just because I need to survive but because Ma told me no man wants to starve, right?! Oh okay, because it definitely feels like you forgot, OG.

That's my truth and I'm so not afraid to tell it like it is because I'm hoping by me being honest with you all, it'll set some of you free.

Social media, when used in the right amount of consumption and for the right reasons, is a great tool to get information and inspiration to the masses. The problem with it is when we forget that those pictures with their stolen lyric captions are just milliseconds of a person's life captured by a camera phone. Those pictures aren't showing how a person got to that millisecond of a moment, the pain they went through, the journey they endured, or the argument that happened right after that picture was taken. We fall for that millisecond of time and base our life's season on that one fragment in time. Crazy, right?

Yet we spend so much time trying to attain these unattainable expectations we've created with our minds based off of these images, because we are discontent with ourselves. We completely throw out and forget about the truth God has been telling us in His Word like:

• We are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14),
• We are the righteousness of God (2 Cor. 5:21), 
• He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10),
• That He has plans to prosper us (Jeremiah 29:11)

Instead we wallow in our discontentment and we allow it to completely take over our lives. NOT ANYMORE SHAWTY!

You have to take a hold on this thing! You can't just let your mind win; you can't let that spirit of discontentment rule your life. Take your life back! Claim your happiness!

When discontentment tries to creep up on you, speak the truth to it—Speak God's Word to it. While you're speaking God's Word to that spirit, something in your spirit will begin to rise up as well. Don't let them lies set up a home in your life; evict them now and abort their mission!

Personally, I think that anytime we allow discontentment to have its way, we're slapping God in the face, because we're not trusting Him and we doubt the unconditional love that He has for us. 1 Thessalonians 1:2-5 in The Message Bible says, "...God not only loves you very much, but also has put His hand on you for something special." Meaning, He's got you—meaning that every desire, every dream, every prayer, He knows! If you could trust Him and keep your mind focused on Him, He'll come through (Isaiah 26:3).

It's going to happen for you—I promise you. You won't be single forever if it's in God's will for you to eventually be married. But in the meantime, DO SOMETHING with your singleness. "Stay the course with committed faith and [watch you] get everything promised to [you]" (Hebrews 6:12).

Singleness can be rough—I know. With what seems to be everyone being in these great relationships, getting married or going on these fly vacations, it can get discouraging. I'm right here with you, but we can make something of this!

And don't you dare for another second of your life think that there is something wrong with you; you are perfect as He is (Matthew 5:48); He made you with perfection. One of my favorite songs at the moment is "I Need You" By Jesse Boykins III (no, it's not a gospel song, so deep Christians, stone me later as the stone boulder at the top of the hill waits for you). Anyways! One of the lyrics says: 

It's not their fault they did you wrong; most of the town boys just ain't that strong. It's not their fault they lied to you, as long as you know you deserve the truth.

The truth is: God wanted so much better for you!

Those relationships didn't work out because they weren't meant to; God has someone better to meet the caliber and level of amazingness that you're on.

Don't be like me—PLEASE, I beg you!!! Don't be like me and waste an hour of crying and having an attitude with God because you chose to believe the lies of discontentment. You're not those lies; you're what God says you are.

I know me saying all this is A LOT more easier said than done, but I figured since *cues High School Musical* "We're All In This Together," I'd start sharing snippets of my "Love Journal." Now here's how this works:

1. NO, I WILL NOT BE AIRING OUT ANY DIRTY LAUNDRY.
2.  NO, I WILL NOT NAME DROP.
3. NO, I WILL NOT EXPOSE ANYONE.
4. YES, YOU MUST PARTICIPATE, TOO!

Basically, three to four times a week, I journal into what I've named, "Learning to Love (Me, Myself & OTHERS)." It's me being intentional about the healing process during my singleness before I meet my Adam, loving myself completely, being enough for me completely, before trying to be for someone else. I challenge you to do the same! You can use a notebook or download the Evernote app like I did and create a notebook in there. Each week, I'll try to post 2-3 snippets from my journal entries to encourage my fellow singles out there also going through their journeys. 

Stay encouraged friends.

I'm praying with you,

xo Nic.

Trusting God in the Transition at Any Stage in Your Life

Oh heeeeyyyy friends!

Quick back story and I guess quick testimony to segue our way into this post:

So almost five months ago, I was in complete and pure panic mode! My last semester of grad school had started and I was already trying to figure out how I was going to be affording continuing to live on my own following graduation. I was applying for internships, hoping that would be a way to at least get my foot in the door to employment. Around the beginning of April, I had a preliminary interview with a television news station for a producer position—it went great and they were really fond on me following up with them; so I did...but, no response. I remember the Sunday before the interview, one of the worship leaders at my church prophesied, relating to someone in the room going after a job and that if they really wanted it, it would be their's. I knew then and there that Jesus was talking through him to me.

About two more weeks had went by and still nothing back from the station. Finals week came...no response. And then the week of graduation came, and the news director of the station called me asking me to come to the station for a formal interview. On last Tuesday, the news director called me again following my formal interview to offer me the job...WITH BENEFITS Y'ALL!!!

This leads me to remind/share with you guys three points:


1. TRUST GOD


Literally.

Like I mentioned to you, I was in panic mode! There were nights, I stayed up in pure negativity. My mind would wonder how am I going to pay my bills? How am I going to pay off my loans? How am I going to survive? I moved out of my mom's house three weeks after my 22nd birthday in pursuit of my master's degree and to start my career. I was only a month and a half shy of having graduated from undergrad (CRAZY! I know and I honestly don't recommend it either). I knew that if I hit hard times, my momma would always be there to help me, but I knew that there was more to this—I knew that if God had really called me to make this leap into this new chapter, He would provide. He's the provider for the provision. Instead of panicking, what God was requiring me to do was trust Him in a new way; I had to stretch my faith and be patient.

Proverbs 3:5 reminds us that if we trust Him and don't depend on our own doings and understandings, acknowledging Him, that He would direct our paths. To me, that scripture is evident that WE DON'T HAVE THE ANSWERS SWAY! I don't got them, you don't got them, ya momma don't go them, ya man ain't got them, your homeboy don't either! But HE does! We trip up and shuffle our way into panic when we try to understand it on our own. If God gives you the vision, trust that He will provide to make provision for it. It's not your business how it's going to happen; it is your business to trust Him, however.

Think of the story of Peter walking on water in the book of Matthew. When Peter fixed his eyes straight on Jesus, having faith, he was able to walk on water. It wasn't until Peter looked down, taking his eyes off Jesus, that he realized the waves crashing under him and became afraid. He then started to sink. Just like Peter, when we take our eyes off of Jesus and begin look at the small figments of our life (bills, loans, hardships), we become afraid. We don't realize that those aspects are small parts compared to the major part—our purpose. We thus sink in our own fear, forgetting that fear is not a fruit of the spirit (2 Timothy 1:7).

2. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

A lot of times when God gives us a vision, we think, "Okay, great! Sounds awesome! Thanks for letting me know God; I got it from here," when we're nowhere near close to being equipped to make it happen (WE STILL DON'T GOT THE ANSWERS). For me, I'll use my singleness for example, I always knew that I wanted to be married and start a family. I believe that being a wife, and especially a mother, is a part of the overall purpose God has given me. In knowing that purpose, I've often times moved ahead of God with certain relationships that I had no business being in; same goes in lots of other areas of our lives.

Or in other ways, instead of moving ahead, we nag God and wallow in sorrow as a result of impatience. I can't tell you how many times I've witnessed myself and even some of my friends create these self-pity moments for no reason. "Oh my God, I don't know what I'm going to do," "Oh my God, I don't have this," "Oh my God, the deadline was yesterday and just I don't know," "Oh my God they didn't call me back," all of the "Oh my Gods," ugly tears, snot and drama for no reason. It's actually ridiculous if you ask me now. Why? Because it's showing that lack of faith of a person who says they believe in the God who is in control of everything.

John 14:14 says that if we ask Christ for anything in His name, He will do it. SIMPLE. Yet we find ourselves having a hard time waiting on Him. Patience and waiting in God has nothing to do with Him really, but everything to do with us. He's already assigned the blessing to you, but He needs to be sure that you're responsible enough to trust you with it—are you equipped with the strength it requires to handle such a blessing right now?

The Bible also reminds us that if we wait on Him, we receive fresh strength, we'll spread our wings and soar like eagles, run and not get tired, walk and not lag behind (Isaiah 40:31). This waiting God is asking of you is so that when the time comes for Him to give you the blessing, you'll be able to handle it.

So get your life and please stop crying; it's not cute and the dramatics are annoying, bro. Get a grip!

3. HE NEVER FAILS

He can't, He won't, never has and never will.

Whatever He said He'd do, He's already done it. He's just waiting for you to catch up! Often times, we allow eagerness and controlling behaviors to take reign, thus removing God from His rightful place in our lives as Lord. When He is truly Lord of your life, you don't worry about anything! You know that you are taken care of. You're 100 percent sure that God is the same today and forever and that what He's told you about you is true (Jeremiah 29:11).

The transition is hard y'all—I've been through it time and time again. But what I know for certain is that it's built my faith even more every single time. The process isn't happening to you, it's happening for you. God wants to build you, He wants to plant your faith on ground that will not waiver (Psalm 1:3).

Endure! I promise you it's worth it, I wouldn't be here saying that at the age of 22, I'll be starting off my career as a news producer in a top small market. That doesn't happen on average, but I'm not average and neither are you! Know who and whose you are.

Stay encouraged friends.

I'm praying for you,
xo Nic.

P.S. Never let fear or anyone else's reservations about your dreams stop you from going for it! I've did it and I'm doing it, so that means you can too. Get your degree(s), get that job, start that career, start that business, write that book, whatever it is! Have faith in yourself and God; He'll work out the rest.

Graduation Day 2016,
almost exactly a year after receiving two bachelor's degrees
from The Lincoln University,
I received my Masters in Journalism and Public Affairs
from American University.

Proceed through the Process: The Growing Pains of Transition

Hello Beautiful People!

Often times in life, we reach a moment in our journeys where it seems out of nowhere we're knocked down or being pushed way too soon or too fast. These moments happen especially during transitional moments in our lives.

So what is a transitional moment?

In familiar terms, it's like the "change of plans" as we call it in film and script writing. At first, you feel as though everything is going right and for an extended period, things are going just fine! Then out of nowhere something creeps up on you and you're like "BUT WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?"

I'm actually in that same situation right now-I just moved from home to start graduate school and I'm 100% sure that the area in which I've moved to is probably going to be "home" for me for the next few years. However, in this process, it seems that I'm going through a spiritual and emotional growing pain. Nothing catastrophic has happened. My needs are met and more. I have a great support system here and back in my hometown, but something internally is changing.

I'm at what I'd like to call an "in between" point in my life-most of us are! We're in our late teens, early twenties and we're not fully grown, as we dub ourselves to be, but we're also not the children and adolescents our elders insist we are. We're transitioning and going through that "in-between."

In the spiritual realm, however, God calls this moment of transition and in-between as a kairos moment--it's the moment when God's Holy Spirit is performing a special work in and through us. It's the moment when He's performing a new work in us (Isaiah 43:19), and as He is performing this new work, He's also shaping and molding us, preparing us for the next level.

It's very often that during these kairos-in-between-transitional moments that we'll feel uncomfortable; we'll feel our faith being challenged, our emotional, spiritual and sometimes physical stabilities, too, being challenged. And that's a part of the growing pain of the process!

In Psalm 51:16-17, David simply reminds us that to God, a sacrifice of some sort doesn't matter. History Lesson: before the birth of Christ and His ultimate sacrifice, the people of God would have to bring before Him burnt offerings, often times the burnt flesh of animals when they sinned. The blood shed by that animal covered the sin of that confession. When Christ came and shed His blood, it covered ALL of sin. Hence why you don't smell the burning of animal flesh all day. Now back to Psalm 51-because the ultimate sacrifice was already made, to God, how we give reverence and sacrifice to Him is when we go before Him with a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart. In the Message Bible by Eugene Patterson, it reads I learned God-worship when my pride is shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don't for a moment escape God's notice.

In this passage, David is teaching us that even in that moment when we're down, when our hearts are broken, pride done, faith being rocked, God still sees us. We are to worship Him anyhow! 

Why?

Because it's our worship that will get us through our in-between--it's our worship that will build our faith, build our trust and build our stamina during our transition. It is also our worship during these moments that will help equip us for once we are out of our in-between-transitional moments. When God is finished His work during this kairos moment, you'll be prepared to receive what it is that He is bringing you to. This next level that God is bringing you is requiring more, SO MUCH MORE. You will not be able to walk into this next level with mediocre faith, bare minimum trust and low stamina. He's building you!

So though these growing pains of your transition are painful, He hasn't brought you this far to leave you. He is always with you. He reminds us TWICE in the SAME passage of Deuteronomy 31:6-8 that He will never leave us nor forsake us. 

As the scripture says, Be strong, take courage and don't be intimidated....He's right there with you. He won't let you down; He won't leave you...Don't worry. So don't worry! God's got you! Before you were even born, He knew you and made plans for you; He knew what you were going to go through and what you were going to need to go through it (Jeremiah 29:11).

Hold on! Your trouble will not last always; you have to come out of it and you will! His eyes are and will always be on His children (Job 36:7); He is a consistent, all knowing and never changing God.

I promise you when this moment is over, you'll be saying the same thing our homeboy David said-It was good for me to have been afflicted so that I might learn YOUR decrees (Psalm 119:71). Your blessing is nothing compared to this season of growth. Stick it out, pick up your cross and walk!

He won't fail you!

I pray that you receive peace and rest in knowing that you are already covered and already victorious because of Christ.

Rest!

I love you and so does He!

Praying with you,
xo, Nic